Examples

"As parents, we should remember that our lives may be the book from the family library which the children most treasure. Are our examples worthy of the emulation? Do we live in such a way that a son or daughter may say 'I want to follow my dad,' or 'I want to follow my mother'? Unlike the book on the library shelf, the covers of which shield its contents, our lives cannot be closed. Parents, we truly are an open book in the library of learning in our homes."

("Dedication Day", Liahona, Jan 2001)

Being a parent of a child at any age seems to be difficult. Most people tend to think this quote is for those with little children. I don't believe it is. Having teenagers and a young adult has been very trying. Everyday I hope that my kids will learn something from me. The good, along with the bad. Josh and I may not have been the best parents, but we, ESPECIALLY me, has always tried to teach the kids to follow my example.

Last night we had a little incident, which makes me think....Maybe our kids ARE a lot like us! All I can do is hope they will not make the mistakes, but if they do they can correct them sooner than later.

Lessons Taught

A follow up for today with the lessons I had to teach. I wasn't to worried about Sunday School. I studied a lesson and decided to do introductions since I don't know the majority of the kids in the class. I can see that I will have my work cut out for me with a couple of the kids. They are a little different, but we are all different in our own way. I'm hoping the kids will like the class and be open and responsive to me.

Which brings me to Relief Society. I was so nervous. I honestly felt very inadequate and unprepared for teaching in there. I prayed many times that I would be able to say the things that needed to be said. I was honest with the sisters and told them I had never taught in Relief Society before and that I was very nervous about doing so. I started by introducing myself and told them why my family and I are now in Oak Harbor. Then it was time to get into the nitty gritty of the lesson. Missionary work....I decided to be honest and say I wasn't a very good missionary myself, but I have learned that I need to be better. At first I asked questions, but it was dead silent. When that happened I thought, oh this is going to be a long class. 20 minutes was going to take forever! Well once sisters started talking and answering questions it was that much easier. I kept watch of the clock and it kept ticking closer and closer to the end of class time. I was so relieved that sister were open and spoke up willingly and understood how nervous I was. I was able to end on time as well. I was so relieved when I was finished. I felt good that I have been able to do something new that I have never done before. It was a challenge, but I took it willingly and did my best.

Afterwards, sisters told me how well I did. Honestly, I think they were just having pity on me :) Now I will have to take a couple days and refocus on my talk for sacrament meeting in a couple weeks. Let the nerves begin once again....

A Daily Frustration

Seems that a new pattern is developing in our lives....a daily call from a teacher at school complaining about Adam. This is really starting to get on my nerves! Not because the teacher calls, but because of Adams actions. For the life of me, I can't figure the kid out! He has never been abused or mistreated in anyway in his life. Yesterday Josh & I met with his counselor at school and she asked the same thing...NO, Adam is his only abuse. He reminds us everyday how old he is.....I think so far this week it has been at least 20 times....lets see since Sunday that would be about 4 times a day! I think I got it by now!

I know he is growing up, but when you see someone you love making choices that won't be of benefit to them in any way, wouldn't you do everything within your power to thwart the situation? I don't know how many times I have told my kids to learn from my mistakes. In no way am I perfect, and believe me I have made many, many mistakes! I always hoped that my kids would learn and use me and their dad as their example of things what NOT to do. However, I have made some good choices, but the bad choices I do want them to learn from, just like I had to learn from them. I would just think that with them watching me struggle, they would learn what not to do and do differently. Unfortuately, Adam doesn't seem to understand this concept.

In my heart I only want what is best for all my children. I desire for Adam to serve a mission, but only he can make that choice. All I can continue to do is love him and let him know that I love him. But ultimately the choices are his to make....no matter the heartache I may feel.

Laying Low....YEAH RIGHT

So I have been in Washington now for a couple month...I have been doing everything I possibly can to keep myself busy and focused on my family and their needs, specifically school. I have been perfectly fine in my own world just doing my own thing without having to worry about callings, teaching or anything of that sort.

It all started last month when I was asked to substitute teach in Relief Society for this coming Sunday. I hesitantly accepted the challenge, seeing as how I have NEVER taught in Relief Society in my life. So I have spend the past month reading over the assigned lesson on and off getting thoughts into my head. Again....all I have really wanted to do is keep low so I wouldn't have to be stressed or have to teach in any callings. Well that idea totally went out the door last Sunday. I was asked if I would teach a Sunday School class. I thought, okay no problem, been there done that. So now I will be teaching Sunday School once again, and once again I will be teaching my own children! Ages 14-18. I don't mind teaching, I just wish my own children would actually learn something (Of which is another blog post in itself)! I was also asked to start teaching the class this coming Sunday as well. So YES I will be teaching two....count them two classes this Sunday! I'm a little freaked about that, but I will figure out something.

So that leads me to something else....while I was studying one of my lessons for Sunday, I got a phone call. (I usually don't answer my phone because no one really calls me, and if I don't recognize the number I will let it go to voice mail). I saw that the number was a somewhat local number, so my curiosity got the best of me....I listened to the voice mail! See I never listen to voice mails, I am known to listen to them maybe once a month. Well I decided I would call this person back....dang another mistake! But relief came when I was able to leave a voice message as well...dang another mistake! So I got back to studying my lessons for Sunday. Then...of course the phone rang again and it was the same number that I had called back. Why didn't I just ignore it again? So I answered it reluctantly. After a little ideal chit chat, I was asked to SPEAK, yes speak in Sacrament in a couple weeks. I told him I was have been trying to lay low and wasn't really wanting to speak, but he wasn't buying it. DANG!!!!

So I will now be speaking in Sacrament in front of a lot of strangers. Normally I don't mind speaking to an audience, but really when I hardly know anyone and have been feeling less than inferior, it seems a lot over whelming to me. So I accepted the assignment and will now pray for inspiration to be able to say the right words (Especially without crying). Oh and my topic..."Developing Righteous Desires".

This is me...April

April come she will, when streams are ripe and swell with rain

May she will stay, resting in my arms again

June she'll change her tune, in restless walks she'll prowl the night

July she will fly, and give no warning to her flight

August die she must, the autumn winds blow chilly and cold

September I'll remember, a love once new has grown old

I have decided that I need to start getting thought into writing or I just may go crazy!  I have been trying to figure out a way to get my emotions out of my mind, so I decided I would attempt to blog.  So here goes...  Why the title April Come She Will?  Well when I was born, it was my dads favorite song.  The song is simple, but now that I am older the words kinda make sense of who I am...
    
The past few months I have been having difficulties adjusting to my new surroundings since moving to Washington.  Most days are grey, gloomy and cold, of which I am not use to.  I am a desert girl....bright, sunny and warm.  I'm doing my best to adjust, but it isn't easy.  So this is me as of now and the song seems to say it best because I really am ready to give flight.