Resolutions

Las Vegas, NV New Years Eve.  Josh & I were on Sunrise Mountain watching all the fireworks

Every year I set resolutions/goals for myself. Last year I was disappointed with myself because I only accomplished 1 of my resolutions. So this year I plan to keep working on them, plus I added a few others. Some are very personal for me & some are just for fun. I decided that a couple should be for others as well... 

• Read 12 books
• Make 15 knitted caps & donate 
• Read & finish the Old Testament 
• Blog 2 times a week 
• Graduate college! 
• Run a half marathon
• Run 2-5k's 
• Run 1-10k 
• Exercise 3 times a week 
• Pay off 3 debts 
• Reach my goal weight finally!!! 
• Finish 2 tubes of lip balm-Stop picking at my lips :/ 
• Attend the temple at least once a month 

It's important to me that I set these resolutions every year.  It gives me something to work on to make myself a better person.  Throughout the year I check on myself and my progress.  Like I said-Last year I didn't do very well, but I am continuing on with them and not giving up!
 

Goodbye 2011

I am happy to say goodbye to 2011! It seemed like an extremely stressful year for me. There was a few months I didn't think I was going to continue living. I personally was in a deep dark place physically and mentally. In fact I really scared Josh a couple of times...needless to say he saw the struggle I was going through and stayed strong for me. For that I am very grateful (which I don't think he realizes). Toward the middle of the year, life changed dramatically for us once we started on our journey back home (Las Vegas). The change started when we were asked to show up in Portland, OR to meet with Paul Johnson who is a general authority for the church. Josh and I met with him individually, then all together as a family. He found Josh worthy to receive his priesthood once again. So he gave Josh a blessing and all his former blessings were restored once again. It was such a humbling experience. One that I have waited for many years. Now when I think about it, I find it funny to think about him changing into his garments in the back of the moving van. But it was totally worth it! Since then I have asked for many blessings and have felt so much better than what I felt at the beginning of the year. Once we got back home, things just seemed to fall onto place. Josh got a job right away, which we were very lucky because the job market has been really crappy in Las Vegas because of the economy the past few years. Jobs are not easy to come by. I eventually got a job too. So we are doing somewhat better than some people we know. We aren't rich, we have been blessed! We have also been able to continue with school in all the craziness as well. We are both determined to finish without delay. Our kids also have had a few ups and downs this year. Breanne struggled with relationships with a few boys. For some reason they would play mind games with her and lead her on. Then dump her without an explanation. She really struggled with understanding why, but it has definitely been a learning experience for her. She is now happy and has moved on from those boys. Being her mom, I knew those boys weren't right for her. Again, she had to learn it for herself. Adam had his own struggles. He finally received his high school diploma after much stress of finishing classes for credit and passing required tests. He didn't graduate on time, but he did graduate which is all that matters. I watch him on a regular basis to figure himself out. It's hard as a mother standing back and watching your child male choices that they know aren't right for them. Adam wanted to go to a mechanic school on Larame, WY, but came home one day and said he wasn't going.....okay, I was really confused?! So now he says he wants to go to CSN....but I don't think he understands what is required of going to a school like that. I suggested to him he start with one or two classes to get use to the pace of it. So far I haven't heard a final decision.... Heck we just want him to get his drivers license and a job at this point! Nicole is doing so much better too. She seemed dark and isolated for a ling time. She didn't even want a hug or any affection from Josh or I. She would yell at us not to touch her. Now she hugs us both on a regular basis. When she first did it, we were a little shocked at the change. A hug from her is one of the best feelings!!! She still has a hard time trying to fit in with some people, but hey so do I. Being in a click of friends isn't ideal anyway! Needless to say, with all the craziness we faced this year I am thankful for some of the experiences I faced. I am thankful to be back home with my mom :) honestly if it weren't for her is probably be dead! I am looking forward to starting a new year and starting new goals. Most of the goals I set for myself last year were not met, but that's okay. I can keep working on them and add new ones as well. There was a lot going on throughout the year I never expected to go through, but they were learning experiences as well. I know there are some things I will never want to do again! There are also some people, place and things I'd chose never to be around again as well. Needless to say, there was much to learn in 2011!!! Here's to a new year and lots of new lessons and experiences to go through!

Christmas

It's funny how roles change as years go along.  This year my kids were the ones who stayed up late while the rest of us went to bed much earlier.  I was so excited for Christmas this year I woke up early.  So since that was the case, I decided to be the one to wake them up like they use to wake us up when they were little super early in the morning.  Soooo......I went in to see if my mom was awake, which she was.  When I saw that was I knew it was okay to wake everyone else up...

We all know what they say about paybacks....hehehe....

I went into the girls room, turned on the light and jumped on Breanne's bed saying "It's Christmas, It's Christmas" while doing the George Jefferson bounce...After I finished on her bed and had her yelling "STOP"  at me I jumped onto Nicole's bed and did the same thing...(I love it)

Of course I couldn't leave Adam out...I went down to his room where he was, but Josh was already starting to wake him up.  I jumped onto his bed and did the same bounce and yell.  then I fell on top of him and kept shaking him saying "It's Christmas".

(My reasoning....they use to do the same thing to me when they were little, except I let them sleep until 7:00 instead of 4:00 in the morning)

 Everyone finally came into the living room where I was sitting patiently for them once they finally were awake enough.  Mom passed out the gifts from under the tree this year.  There wasn't a lot, but it was plenty.  I think everyone was VERY happy with their gifts (including the dogs).  When we were done, we cleaned up and played with some of the items.  Josh and Adam each got a remote control helicopter, but Josh's wouldn't work, so we will be exchanging it tomorrow along with a few other items.  Adam absolutely loves his helicopter, he has played with it on and off all day long.  Who'd a thought he'd like it so much....


We went to church too.  It was nice.  The program was musical with lots of Christmas music and the choir singing.  It was different than other sacrament Christmas programs we have been to in the past.  It was nice for a change.  


After church we came home and relaxed.  Adam played with his helicopter while my mom and I sat and cracked different kinds of nuts.  We haven't done that in years!!!  Then Nicole came over and started cracking some with us too...That was a new experience for her.  


Ohhhh...then we busted out the new Wii video games.  Michael Jackson dance and Just Dance 3.  Oh my gosh....I LOVE both games!!!  We played for a couple hours.  Josh would play and I would play along with him.  He's hilarious to watch!  Then one of us would get tired and sweaty, so we would stop and Breanne and Nicole would play.  We alternated who would play and against each other.  One time I just got up and started doing a dance move totally random while the girls were doing a dance.  Now that it is hours later....my body can feel the muscles it hasn't really used in the past month!  The fun of playing the games with my family is soooo worth the ache I am feeling.  So I guess I better start my workouts again...


Tonight we are just watching movies on tv and relaxing which we don't get to do very often.  Breanne is over at her new boyfriends spending some time with him...Tomorrow will be another day to finish up some things that didn't get done today.  We are meeting my dad early in the morning before he leaves town to go back home.  It will be nice to see him too...

You know that saying "Save the drama for your mama"?  Yeah I don't want it from my kids and I'm definitely sure my mama doesn't want it from me either!!!


So kids if your saving it for me...deal with it yourself!  


And on a side note...if someone else is trying to give you their drama, they need to be sent packing!!!


There are some people in my families life who like/love to cause drama for no reason...HELLO we left it behind! Please keep it there!!! It isn't welcome anymore with us!  THANKS :)

Donate

Every year our family decides to give to a charity or others who are less fortunate.  We have been doing this every year for the past 6 years.  Some years we have been able to give more, while some years we were only able to give a small amount.  On the years where we could only give a small amount, I had to keep reminding myself that it was something which was better than nothing.


This year we decided to give a little more than we had the past couple years.  Our finances are a little better than they have been the past couple years.  So the day after Thanksgiving; Josh, Breanne and I went shopping to see what deals would could get for Black Friday.  We found what we needed really quickly. 


Choosing who to donate to this year was easy.  I wanted to give back to the charity who had helped my kids in the past when having any kind of Christmas seemed impossible.  I was amazed when my kids told me they had to explain to their friend why we had so much stuff to donate.  They told their friend that its because someone was kind enough to give to them when they were little because we had absolutely nothing.  They remember the 1 foot (YES!!! One foot Christmas tree we had that year) very well and how total strangers came knocking on our door with presents for them.  That Christmas they got more than what any of us were expecting!!!


  I thought against donating to the charity because they get so much from all over the city.  But I knew it was the right thing to do.  I had to give back to who gave to us.  That was important to me this year.  When we left the donation place at 11:30 pm a few weeks ago, I felt very lifted and ready for the holidays. 


So far, nothing else has been done, but hopefully tonight we can bust out the tree and maybe some outside lights....or the backyard will be the only thing lit since the lights are still out there from the wedding we had in October!

Memories....

This weekend turned into more than a quick trip to Northern Utah for a family get together, it became a trip to memory lane for Josh. We wanted to stop and see Josh's sister Tanja, but she wasn't home. Instead we drove around to see the house he lived in while he lived in Utah, the school he went to, and different places he worked at while growing up. It was interesting to listen to what he was saying and telling us about his teenage years. I have heard all the stories over and over again, but listening to them this time was different. While we drove to the different places, Josh talked about how he felt during that time of his life. He finally said, " I tried to block all this out of my mind because it was nothing but bad memories! I never wanted to remember how bad life was for me then." The kids and I sat and listened, then all of a sudden he said, "You know where the house was? Watch, when I turn here you'll see how far I had to ride my bike just to go to work." We had been on the car about 30 minutes when he saw a bridge he had to go under everyday on him bicycle that all of a sudden hit him like a ton of bricks. He wasn't intending to see this place either, just just suddenly happened that we were there on that road at that moment. Josh was not the usual upbeat person he normally is when we were doing this, I can still here him asking himself "Why?" All I could say was, "Those experiences made you who you are today, you aren't a bad person and you can't help the choices your parents made when you were a kid. All you can do is be who you are and be true to yourself and our family." Josh and I haven't had it easy, but we have made it this far together despite all the craziness. We have made mistakes along the way, but one thing is for sure our kids haven't lived anything like what Josh experienced as a child. He always made a conscious effort to make sure our kids never had to go without or that their needs were not met. We may not have had tons of money, but they have had a good life! Our children have had good memories of family vacations, lake trips, cabin trips, road trips, shopping, soccer games, dogs, cats, houses, Disneyland, zoos, beaches and sailing adventures. So many good memories that far outweigh the bad. Memories is what make up a life and a person. I am thankful to have so many memories in my life. I have good and bad ones, but like I said experiences make us who we are as a person. It's our choice to learn from the bad experiences, like Josh did and make an effort to change so better memories will replace the bad ones.

Accepting Change

I could write a book about my life thus far. It would befull of action, adventure, love AND most definitely drama. Isn't that what makes the best of stories? It could even be made into a movie that everyone would love and talk about seeing! Men would love it for the action as well as the adventure. And well woman would just love it! I have accepted everything I have been through in life, heck its made me who I am today. Honestly I think I'm a pretty good person who has a lot of wisdom when it comes to life and life experiences. With those experiences though, I wasn't prepared for the changes that come with my children becoming adults. The past few months I have been really struggling with the idea of having adults who are in my eyes and heart still my babies. I suppose no matter what they will always be my little child who I will want to take care of, no matter what. I want so desperately to give my children the world, but I can't and haven't been able to. I don't think that is wrong either, but at times it seems like my children don't realise some of the sacrifices that have been made just for them. I'm hoping on day they will truly appreciate what I have done for them. As for accepting them for being adults, know I have to, but it is so hard. Right now on a regular basis I want more than anything to be able to spend as much time together as a family. Adam will be leaving in April to go to school in Larame, WY. He will be far away from home without me there to take care of him or to make sure he his eating, has clean clothes, his room is clean and everything else a mom does on a regular basis. I suppose it isn't just that. I want to believe that him going off to school will give him a better appreciation of home. But who knows, all we can do is wait see. I'm not sure if my girls think like Adam does. Breanne has goals, drive and a vision for the future. She doesn't mind being around family and doing activities with us. Maybe its because she was actually away from us when we were living in Washington and knows what its like to be away from us. In my mind I'm hoping that the case. Although we left home, she never did she was the smart one! ;) Nicole tends to go back and forth. I know it's because of her age. That's what most teenagers do. They want you then they need their space... So needless to say accepting these changes has been hard for me to accept, but I am willing to keep working on the changes of my adult children. I'm just patiently waiting for,"Mom, Dad you were right! I should have listened to you!" One day it will come,.it always does, especially when they see how good their lives were despite the difficulties and craziness we have lived together!!! I have to add though...as I write this on my phone, sitting in the car late at night on a road trip to Northern Utah to spend the weekend with my extended family, I am totally thankful that my family is all together couped up in the car for a short weekend trip TOGETHER!!!

Birthday Boy

This post is a little late...

I wanted to add picture of the day, but shortly after I loaded the pictures to my computer, the computer totally crashed.  I lost everything!!!  That night we made a mad dash rush to the Geek Squad, needless to say it is now three weeks later and I still don't have my computer back or any pictures.  I am so upset because like an idiot...I deleted the pictures off the camera before I saved them to anywhere like I usually do.  I will never do that again!

Over the weekend (Of November 6th) we had the honor to celebrate Adams 19th birthday.  We didn't celebrate big this year again.  I can't afford to do a big party every year.  We decided to do a bar-b-que.  We had angus steak, baked potatoes and snap peas.  It was all delicious.  No birthday is complete without cake and ice cream.  We found an Italian Creme cake.  It was soooo good!  I couldn't eat my whole piece (I didn't want to think of all the calories going in!) Adam loved it, he devoured a huge piece, plus ice cream (that's OK, that's what a birthday is for).  He also spent some time hanging out with his friends over the weekend as well.  I'm trying to grasp the reality that mama isn't the center of his world anymore :( but I think deep down he still cares (at least that's what I want to believe).

It seems like he was just a little boy not too long ago.  Now he is grown and in the world trying to figure out who he is. At this point in his life it seems like all he wants to do is go out and ride the dirt bike.  Sometimes I don't even realize he has left to go do it. As long as he is safe I'm okay with him going, but in all honesty I don't really like the idea of him going out and riding alone. Too much can happen.  I have known a few people who have had little accidents while out riding who have been killed. All I can do is hope nothing will happen.

I have also noticed lately that Adam loves to watch Sponge Bob Square Pants.  Everyday when we come home from work its on.  I can't figure out what is so funny about the show.  Not too long ago there was something on the news that said watching Sponge Bob makes kids stupid....hummm some days I wonder if Adam has watched too much Sponge Bob over the years.

Anyway, Adam is a good kid.  I know one day he will accomplish great things, but it's only convincing him to believe that.  I had many hopes and dreams for him, but he doesn't seem to want to listen to his parents (suppose its the age thing).  Hopefully one day :?

Pet Peeves...

So I have several things that really irritate me.  I never really thought that much bothered me, but while in Washington several things began to bug me...kinda like nails scratching on a chalk board effect!!!  When I hear or see these things, I seriously cringe.  So what you may be asking are these things that send shivers down my spine and make my teeth grit in pain because it bothers me so much...

Well....

• Pronunciation of certain words...like Tuesday!  Tuesday should be pronounced as tooz-dey! (Notice...DEY?) When I was in elementary school I was taught that its TuesDAY.  Not TuesDEE! I began to think that I had learned to say it wrong, but I know for a fact I didn't.  I wonder if it was a regional thing because I had never heard it said that way before and by so many people in the area.  REALLY?  Whenever I hear Tuesday said as Tuesdee, I repeat to myself Tuesday, its Tuesday! Weird!!! But coming from the source I heard it from the most... it explains a lot!
• Dirty public restrooms...OK I know this is very random because all public restroom are dirty, but I'm talking about public restrooms that look like they haven't been cleaned in weeks.  The restroom at the office building I work at is one of them.  I absolutely hate going into the restroom while I'm at work because most often the women's restroom has toilet paper all over it.  And it just isn't toilet paper...IT'S FREAKING USED TOILET PAPER ON THE GROUND BESIDE THE TOILET!!!   When I saw this I just about puked!  Seriously people, it isn't hard to get the toilet paper into the hole of the toilet!
• Have and Have Not's- People who think they have something, but in reality they don't.  They try to act as if they do have something (you chose what it is, it can be anything...money, style, clothes, cars, etc).  I have an issue with those who think they have it when they really don't.  Or on the other side, people who judge someone because they think someone has something.  I get this judgement on a regular basis because I drive a nice sports are.  I have heard and been told by many people that I have money because of the car I drive.  Little do they know I don't have any money!!! This is very hard for me to deal with because people assume one thing but really it is nothing like they assume.(Heck I may even fit into this category, but I sure try to watch myself)
• Rude people!!!  Rude people bug me, especially when they have nothing to be rude about.  Many times people treat others wrongly when they have no reason to.  I have experience this more so lately.  I have made the decision to treat everyone as equals and just as nice as everyone else.  If I am kind I would hope others would be reciprocate the kindness.
• People who swear in public 
• Employees who smoke in from of their work place...really people? I don't like walking through your smoke to go into the store.  Move somewhere else so the public doesn't see the people who are suppose to represent their company smelling up the place!
• There are a few other things that bother me, but these at the moment are tops!!!

I know everyone in the world has something that bothers them to the core.  These are mine, which I will continue to work on getting over.  I know people aren't perfect just like I'm not perfect, but really people!?. 

Halloweinie

Okay, so everyone that knows me really well knows that I absolutely love Halloween.  There is so much to the day that I love.  I plan for months ahead what our theme will be for our costumes for the year.  Seriously...I obsess about it!  This year, I came up with a fairy costume simply at random.  One day I was going through some stuff and found a bunch of socks that were missing mates...I always have at least one or two socks that come up missing.  So my costume idea this year was to be the "MISSING SOCK FAIRY"....only thing is, the idea never came to be.  I have been so crazy busy, I ran out of time to make my costume :(  That's okay, I always have next year.

This year I decorated a pumpkin, but not with the usual jack-o-lantern face.  I decided to add some glitter to the pumpkin.  I totally glitterized it.  Pure sparkly gold!!! I absolutely loved it as well as everyone else that saw it.  I just felt like doing something different than what I usually do.  Glitterized pumpkin was a total hit with all the little kids, they would poke at it and stare.  It was fun to watch them.  (More on pumpkin later)

My Glitterized Pumpkin!!!

So instead of dressing up and walking on the roads watching people, we decided to stay home and pass out candy.  I love passing out candy as well.  Our street can get about 300 + trick or treaters because of the little haunted houses some of the neighbors have.  This year I think we had just about that, which was about the same as last year.  I had to keep telling my mom to go back in the house to get more candy (so when that kept happening I started just handing out one piece of candy).  Giving candy in this neighborhood can be very expensive and we can run out fast if we don't plan ahead.  (Thanks mom! She plans well!)

We had our far share of princesses, Transformers, witches, zombies, ninjas, bumble bees, alligators, dinosaurs, a couple Dorothy & Totos, Spiderman, Batman, and Jokers and several I had no idea what they were.  I have to say, I got kinda tired of seeing the Scream mask...so I started commenting to the kids about their costumes.  I wasn't mean, I was having fun with them (I have to add, I like giving the teenagers a hard time).  Anyway when I finally saw about the 10 Scream mask with its mouth wide open...I asked "Are you tired, because you seem to keep yawning?"  When Adam heard me ask that, he just about fell off his chair laughing.  Some other kids that came through dressed up I had to guess who they were dressed as.  I got Snooki right!  I had the girl wait before I gave her the candy so I could guess.  When I guessed right she laughed (I guess she thought I was too old to know who Snooki is).  Then there was another kid dressed up as another Jersey Shore guy, but it wasn't The Situation.  Yeah ok!  Then I had to guess again a little later.  Some girl walked up with these green shorts on (short, shorts that is) with suspenders.  Her hair was high on her head too.  So I said..."Snooki?"  She turned, laughed and said NO!!!( duh like I should know).  I said "Oh, I'm sorry, who are you suppose to be?"  Get this....she said "LUIGI!"  Huh, Luigi doesn't look like Snooki in short booty shorts and high hair! Luigi is Marios brother...GIRLFRIEND you were Snooki, but just told our mom you were Luigi so you wouldn't get in trouble for looking a little skanky!

So we finished handing out or candy and went in and shut the front light off.  Well some kids refused to accept the fact that the lights were out.  We got some kids banging on the door, so Nicole went and opened it and said that we were out.  Then closed the door and came into the family room at the back of the house.  Next thing I know, Josh is swearing and running down the steps and running outside.(He had the bedroom window open and heard something going on)  Seems the little visitors were wanting more than candy...they BASHED, YES BASHED my glitterized pumpkin in our driveway.  I couldn't figure out what Josh was doing, so I went out and some lady was telling Josh that these kids were causing problems down at the haunted house at the neighbors. When I saw my fabulous pumpkin, I was mad.  The lady pointed out who the kids were, so of course I go running off after them.  They were at the Bowens house when I got to them and sat down outside their house. I walked up to them and asked who they thought they were going to peoples houses ruining their property.  They all denied it though...HELLO, people saw you doing it.  I yelled at them to get away from that house and that they weren't welcome, I even said get out of our neighborhood!  When I was yelling at them Bowens came outside and asked what was going on...I told them what was happening and that I told them to get out of the neighborhood.  They appreciated what I did. 

Anyway, I still love Halloween.  I don't like that adults in their 30s think its cute to trick or treat (without a little kid).  I get upset because HELLO GO BUY YOUR OWN FREAKING CANDY LIKE THE REST OF US!!! Another thing that gets me...these parents who bring out their brand new babies...this lady walked up with a zebra covered stroller.  I said, "Oh a zebra?" Jokingly.  She laughed and said no, then pulled the zebra blanket up to show us her month old baby.  I was like, what?  Lady it was cold outside and I know for a fact that baby isn't eating any candy!  

I do however LOVE that people get into the spirit and dress up with their kids.  Some of my favorites last night were the fast food group:Wendy, Jack, Panda Express to go box, Lady Gaga (who I guessed was the Joker), got laughed at and was told "Nope Lady Gaga!"  Seriously, the little girl wasn't even 2 yet!  But they get creativity points for attempting.  Heck anything goes when it comes to Lady Gaga right? Ohhh I almost forgot and honorable mention for the little girl that was dressed in gold sequins that looked like my gold glittered pumpkin.

All in all, it was another memorable Halloween that's for sure.

Walk n' Roll

Yesterday I participated in the first ALS of Nevada 5k run.  I ran in honor of my dad Eldon Hardy who passed away four years ago from the disease.  There were 70 runners that participated in the new event.  In prior years there has only been a memory walk for awareness, but this year a run was added as well.  It was attended by both runners and walkers.

The  pre-run instructions....YES, I was totally confused!

Its always fun to start a run...

I did well, however I know I could have done better.  I have really been having a hard time training for the marathon because I started working.  The job seriously wipes me out by the end of the day.  I can hardly keep my eyes open by the time I get home.  So I am hoping that this week will be better for me. 

Coming to the finish line at full sprint!

Even better to cross the finish line

Anyway, my mom and I were the only one's from our family who went this year.  Everyone else in the family was either sick or made other plans (which I was not very happy about!!!)  I am so happy that I was able to attend once again this year and actually feel like I really made some kind of difference for once.

This is us...

Every year there is also a balloon release to help those not to forget to continue to seek to find a cure for the disease.  For some reason this years balloon release seemed really cool to me...the balloons could be seen forever up in the sky.

Finally, there is a grove of trees that has been planted for every person that has died from ALS. This is always touching to go back and see the change of the tree every year. 

In memory of Eldon B. Hardy

Rainy Day Issues



This was in Washington...these boots got TONS of use...
I just may have to pull them out again if this keeps up!

I'm having some serious issues tonight,  it's so dumb too!  It has been raining today since this afternoon, which is okay....but its FREAKING cold!!!  I'm having flashbacks to the 4 HELLACIOUS months I lived in Washington.  I absolutely hate the rain with the cold!!!  The weather the entire time I lived there...minus 10 (count that 10) days was nothing but miserable cold and rain!  I did the best I could to make the best of the situation, but the damage was already done. 

Don't get me wrong I love the rain...but when its cold I can't handle it.  I came home from work got into my warm clothes and began having flashbacks to my horrible stay in Washington.  So now all I want to do is cuddle up in my bed and sleep because I don't want the horrible memories of the rain from Washington.  The rain there is so thin you can hardly see it.  To see that it is raining you have to look really hard and against something dark to see the rain. 

It rained so much there, I got use to being soaking wet on a regular basis. My car was never clean, I couldn't wear cute shoes because the water would ruin them.  I was always wearing warm clothes because it was never above 58 degrees the entire time I was there.  I was in heaven when we got back to Las Vegas because the warmth was so rejuvenating for me.  I came back to life so to say.  I never  complained once about the heat  being 115 outside because I was/am so thankful to be back in it!

So we will have to see how I manage the next couple of days, especially if it stays this cold. 

Oh Green...

Today's unexpected adventure....

Little Green Focus lost its transmission.  Adam tried to come home, but Little Green wasn't having it.  I got a call from Adam in a panic because he couldn't get the car to go. So mom and g'ma to the rescue.  Little green was stuck in the employee parking garage.  We called AAA, but ended up waiting for over 2 hours for them to come.  But once they came we still couldn't go to the car because we needed a security escort! 

Problem with that...no security were available because there was a problem at the resort that Metro was involved with, so nobody could do anything until they left.  (Whatever, it isn't like I/we are going to steal my own car).  So we had to sit and wait for another hour for our security escort!

Finally when our "escort" came, it took all but 5 minutes to hook the car up to the tow truck and leave.  Escort just looked at my identification to see if I was the legal owner.  Unbelievable!

But this isn't the first time Little Green has decided to have a break down a hotel parking garage.  A few years ago on Halloween, we sat in valet parking for 5 hours waiting for a tow truck! It didn't show up until about 2:30 in the morning! That was such a long night. That was quite the experience with little kids dressed in their Halloween costumes trying to have a fun night at the aquarium!  We saw more than we wanted to see, lots of nearly nude women going into the club walking past us as we sat waiting.  My poor girls at that age were not ready to see all the "sexy" doctors walking by.

So needless to say...Little Green has given us many adventures in the past 10 years.  We will most likely fix her and send get her back on the road for many more adventures. 

Heck, these adventures are what memories are made  of :)

(Oh...on a side note, if you ever need to hide your car from repossession....HIDE IT IN A HOTEL/CASINO EMPLOYEE PARKING GARAGE!!! NOBODY CAN OR WILL GET TO IT!!)

A New Adventure

Well today started a new adventure in my life.  I started a new job this morning.  I am now working in the death industry....YES, you read that right death industry!  I was asked if I wanted a job last week.  I said, "Well I don't know if its so much wanting a job, but needing a job."  So I chose to start a new job. 

I am looking forward to this new adventure.  I am trying to stay positive and upbeat about this new experience.  However, I am a little worried about keeping up with my schooling and marathon training, since both tend to take a lot of time as well.  The onl thing I hate is learning new procedures with a new company.  In the beginning I always feel very overwhelmed, but from what I have been told it will come much easier shortly because it is just repetition. 

My first experience with working with someone who had a family member die was when I answered the phone and a lady speaking a foreign language began yelling at me about the body being stolen from the hospital....OKAY?!  When I finally got to speak I told her I was new and didn't know what she was talking about, but I would do my best to find an answer for her.  I just needed some time to get some information before I could give her further details.  WOW!!! Really?  I was NOT expecting that.  I found out the information and she was a little happier person when the phone call ended.

So as you can see, this will totally be a new adventure for me.  So be prepared to hear a few posts here and there about a day in the life of working in the death industry...

ANOTHER DAY :/

Its been a long day and it still isn't over.  Here it is almost 11:00 pm and we are still working on homework...Surprise, surprise it isn't mine.  I have been sitting with Nicole working on an essay.  If it were mine I have it done and over with.  Writing comes rather easy for me, but I guess for others it isn't as easy.  Many times I feel like just taking her assignment and doing it myself, but how would she learn from that?

Some days I absolutely hate the idea a being a parent.  Tonight we...meaning Josh and I got into it again with Adam.  He seems to think the world is his and we just exist in it and have to drop to answer his beckoning demands....Ahhhh HELLO!!!  I think not!  He doesn't seem to get the concept that he still lives under someones roof and has rules to live by.  So he didn't like what I had to say, so he walk out the door saying "WHATEVER!"  The good thing about modern day technology...I can still tell him what I think through text messages....So he can think he was done....but NO he was still getting a text full from me.  And he was even replying to me...(Honestly, that is the only reason I keep his cell phone turned on.  If it wasn't for that I'd shut the stupid thing off!)  ONE UP FOR MOMS AND CELL PHONES!!!  :)

Some days I feel like I am walking on tip toes trying not to offend my kids.  But I shouldn't have to do that.  Its especially hard when you don't want to be the bad guy.  I have learned that I will be the bad guy, but they still love me.  I can't wait for that day when they do look back and say "Mom, Dad, you were right!"  I have gotten that a couple time from Breanne, but with Adam....that day may never come!  I can only sit back and watch and give him my thoughts.  At this point, its been a no go, but maybe one day he will get it.

I can only hope....right?

Hot Mess

That's me today...ONE HOT MESS!!!  I woke up with a pain in my eye, when I looked in the mirror my eyes looked like they had been in some kind of fight with themselves.  Of course its a full blown sty that has given me a huge black eye along with major bags!  I hate sty's, they are so annoying. Of all times to get one this is NOT the week. 

Then Miss Graceful dropped breakfast burrito all over myself...so now I have salsa all over me too.  I haven't had a chance to take a shower yet, so I feel like I smell like a burrito!

I don't have time to be a hot mess today...I have food to cook for a wedding, homework to do, a house to clean, a transmission to find, and places to get to before time runs out.  Oh, on top of all that I have to somehow squeeze in a 3 mile run! 

Time management...isn't that what its called?

PARTY OF ONE...PLEASE

It's best to be alone when someone is in the midst of having a pity party!!!  Today its me who is having the pity party.  I find it funny how when I am having my party I try (key word TRY) to get people to feel sorry for me.  For some reason....it never works. 

So what am I feeling sorry for myself today?  I have to admit I have some MAJOR insecurities.  Don't know why I have them, I just do.  The insecurities come and go, but today they are FULL BLOWN!  I tend to think that the world is against me and I am a major loser when I am feeling this way.  It takes several hours if not all day to get over my issues.  I absolutely hate when I feel like this because in all honestly...I know it isn't true!

On days when I feel like this I see myself less than what I really am.  In the midst of my feelings I feel like a 10 TON TILLY!  YES, I said it, a 10 ton tilly.  So what is this 10 ton tilly?  This 10 ton tilly is someone I see who doesn't take care of themselves physically.  When I see a person (10 ton tilly in my eyes) on tv or on the streets I see myself as them.  Many times when I am with my family I will say, "I feel exactly how that person looks!"  Then they will say, "Nooo....mom, not even!"  But I can't get that image out of my head. 

My family knows I try very hard.  I exercise regularly.  HELLO....I have been training for a marathon.  I watch what I eat and eat right.  Ok, on occasion I have to take a taste of something unhealthy, but that is okay on occasion.  I try to dress nice, but feel like I am very inadequate with how I dress and look (again...I know that isn't true).

What I do know is I try very hard.  I'm not perfect in anyway.  Maybe what I am thinking is totally crazy!  I try, but in my head I want to be so much more.  I suppose with even more hard work...one day I will actually look like I have always wanted to look, but that means enduring, having patience and a better attitude and outlook on who I really am.  So if you happen to see me out on the streets, running, walking or doing any other form of crazy exercise....please, Please,PLEASE encourage me so I can keep these horrible thoughts and this ridiculous pity party at a far distance...

Thoughts of today :)

I'm not exactly sure were to start with this today!


I've had tons on my mind the past few days.  So I suppose I will begin with...today is my 21st wedding anniversary!  Yes 21 years! Long, long, years! So many of those years I didn't think we would make it.  Several of those years we were not together to celebrate.  Speaking of celebrating...we never really have had a celebration.  That's okay though, I'd rather keep it quiet anyway! 


When I look back over the 21 years, I think of so much that has happened  (good and bad).  These years has created who I am today.  I have been through even amounts of happiness and sadness.  It has never been easy for Josh and I.  We struggle on a continuous basis to work together ,or should I say compromise?  Some days I want to strangle him and have nothing to do with him...(the feeling is mutual I'm sure), other days I don't want to be away from him and miss him even when he is at work.  Although I will never miss him as much as I did for the 7 years we were apart (those who know us know why).  After those 7 years, we have worked very hard to work together, mostly because I became so independent I became stubborn and could take care of myself without having to rely on him...I have to admit, that is still a constant struggle for me. 


So needless to say...even after 21 years, we are still working on making our marriage work.  It is a full time job that I haven't given up on yet.  (Did I already mention how stubborn I am?)  I am also glad that Josh is just as stubborn.  Neither one of us is perfect, but we are perfect for each other...despite our individual flaws that drives each other crazy.  But with all that work, we have come a long, Long, LONG way together....


Happy Anniversary to us!

This Thing Called Faith

"Faith, then, is the first great governing principle which has power, dominion, authority over all things; by it they exist, by it they are upheld, by it they are changed, or by it they remain, agreeable to the will of God.  Without it there is no power, and without power there could be no creation or existence."

-Josheph Smith

Spirrrrt Day

Shiverrrr Me Timberrrrrs....It's homecoming week at Las Vegas High School.  Nicole has been parrrrticipating in the daily spirirrt days.  Today happens to be pirrrrate day.  Yesterrrrday when I picked herrrr up from school I asked herrr how the day was..blah, blah,blah.  She said good!  Then she asked if we could go to the storrrre to get an eye patch for Pirrrrate day. 

Glitter patch and gold tooth...have to keep it shiny somehow!

Soooo....she knows that I have to go all out when it comes to things like drrrressing up.  But we had to keep it within school drrrress code as well, which is fine.  It isn't like I want my daughterrrr to look like a pirrrrate wench or something.  So the crrreative brrrrain had to think quick of what we could do on limited time and limited funds.  So we went looking for an eye patch.  Hello me matey...being close to Halloween you would think an eye patch would be easy to find...NYE!!!  We went to thrrree different storrres just to find a pirrrate eye patch!  We found some materrrial with glitterrry skulls and crrrossbones (not sure what we were going to do with it, but we would figure out something).  And we also found a gold pirrrate tooth!

Well we came home and got to work.  We weren't sure what to do with the materrrial.  I had an idea to make a sash thingy, but Nicole had a TOTALLY differrrent idea.  That crazy girl wanted us to make a corrrset!  She kept trying to explain to me what she was wanting and it just wasn't clicking in my head.  Then she finally took the materrrial and wrrrapped it arrround her in the forrrm of a corrrset.  I looked at her and said, "There is NO way I can even do something like that!  I can sew one straight stitch and make something simple".  But that wasn't all I was thinking....Gggirrrlfrrriend has some major boobies on herrr...I don't think she needs anymorrre added to them!!!!

Pirate Nicole...Arrghh!!! Oh and Lulu :)

So we decided on a wide sash instead.  It took a bit of thinking, but we finally got it.  I thought it would be fun to sparrrkle up the eye patch as well, so I added darrrk purrrple glitter to it...FUN, FUN!!!  and since drrress code is being enforrrced therrre was so much morrre we could do, but I think the end result turned out gggrrreat. Plus its better to be comforrrtable when drrressed up to, especially when one has to drrress out for P.E.  Simple and to the point.

Playing dress up is so fun!  Now I'm even more excited for Halloween!  I already have my costume idea, I just have to work on putting it together.  Theme for this year....Fairy's and Monsters!  Can't wait!!!

Feeling Crafty?

The past few days I have had a craft bug...I have not felt crafty in several years. I use to do crafts all the time, but decided that I just didn't want to do them anymore.  I even have tons of craft supplies (sitting in storage)! 

I always see cute things at different places I have gone to, but never want to buy anything because I could make it myself.  But....I haven't made anything.  When we were in Utah one weekend we went to Duck Creek for a festival that was going on there.  While walking around the booths I came across the cutest earring hanger.  Of course I checked it out to see how it was made.  I wanted to make them for my girls.  So I finally made the attempt.

Here it is...

Without earrings

Earrings added

It was fun being creative.  I think I will start to make a regular attempt at doing more things like this.  I like the idea of making something from nothing.  However my problem is I want to make so many, but I don't have anything to do with all the excess. So being crafty is limited with lots of extra supplies :/   So at this point I will probably just make a couple more.  I definitely want one for myself (my earrings deserve something cute too), but I can't decide what colors I want mine....Decisions, Decisions!



This thing called....PARENTING

Definition of PARENT- par·ent noun\per-ənt\

a: one that begets or brings forth offspring b: a person who brings up and cares for another

Yes, parenting!!! No one ever says how hard it is to be a parent to young adults.  I have been struggling so hard the past couple of months trying to say the right things to my young adult children.  I have been willing to accept that they are not little kids anymore and are now able to make their own choices in life.  However, its so hard to sit back and watch them make difficult choices.  Especially when the choices they do make are not the choices I would have made for them.

Breanne is now 20 years old.  She works a job and goes to school full time.  Her goal is to become a cosmetic surgeon one day.  She has been in college since she graduated from high school and has done really well so far.  When she isn't in school during the summer she works two jobs to fill in the time to keep herself busy.  She has dated several boys over the past couple of years, but so far none of them have been up to par.  She has chosen to dump a few of them because they were just not the right one for her.  I always try to stay out of giving her my opinion of the boys because she needs to be the one who recognizes the potential.  However, there has been a couple relationships I gave her my opinion about.  Both of those boys were abusive to her mentally...that is not something I want her to experience.  When Josh and I first noticed the signs, we both told her our feelings and what we saw was going on.  After some time, she began to recognize the signs.  We are very thankful she did not continue these relationships.  What has been even harder is watching her suffer from a broken heart that the boys have caused to her.  For some reason the last three boys have given her the "I have to figure myself out" excuse.  She doesn't understand what the problem is, but in all honest, I do.  I just have to allow her room to figure it out.  Its so hard because I want to jump in and solve her problems, but I can't.  It is also hard to watch her see girls her age moving on, getting married and having babies.  I know she wants that in her life one day, but right now just isn't her time.  One day she will look back and see that it was good that she didn't rush into adulthood so fast.  I have always told my kids "There is so much in life to experience, don't rush into settling down and look back one day and wish that you could have done something when you were young." 

Adam has been another story.  He started a job finally, but it is only for a short time as a lifeguard at one of the hotels. But, for the life of me, I CAN NOT figure him out!!!  I raised Adam to make good moral choices just like I did the girls.  I did all I could to let him have experiences in life that would help him to become a good man.  About a year ago Adam became the person he is today...the person I didn't raise for 18 years and the person I don't know.  I understand that he needs to make his own choices in life, but I never thought his choices would be the ones to cut like a knife in the heart!  Adam does not know what he wants in life.  We have been asking him for years what plans he sees for himself...the answer from him is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!  I have talked to him about the importance of setting goals for himself.  That goes in one ear and out the other.  Its really hard to make any sense of him.  We have been trying to get him to get his drivers license.  I know he wants it, but getting him to make the effort on his own is a joke!  I have got to the point that I'm tire of asking him everyday.  As parents we want nothing more than for Adam to make his own choices in life, but when we see bad choices beging made isn't it okay to voice our opinion?  I know the solution for Adam would be to go on a mission for the church.  It would be a good humbling experience for him and he would be able to take the time he is away and focus on himself.  He would be able to mature and develop the skills he needs to be the best possible Adam that he could be.  But for some reason last year, that desire was lost by him.  It honestly makes me very sad because right now at this point in his life, I see nothing but heartache and dispair for him and his future.  As a parent you don't want that for your child.  All I can do at this point is to keep loving him and do my best to guide my young adult son in the direction he should go in life.  I have even gone as far as asking people who do know Adam really well to say something to him about his choices and actions.  I want these people (especially the one's who care about him)to tell him how ridiculous he is being, because me telling him all the time is like....BLAH, BLAH,BLAH anymore.  But at some point...I can't do it forever :/ 

Then there is my little (who is not so little) Nicole...She is now 15 and wanting to get her drivers permit.  I don't have a problem with her getting her permit, but what I do have a problem with is seeing a picture of her kissing a boy on her cell phone screen.  I get the teenage boy/girl thing...I was a teenager once! Duh! I just don't feel that she should be worried about boys right now.  Especially kissing them!  Last night when I saw the picture I showed Josh and my mom...my mom kiddingly said "Nicole, get back in your stroller!"  YES, PLEASE GET BACK IN YOUR STROLLER!!! It has been fun with Nicole since we have been back from Washington.  She is a totally different girl than who she was when we were there.  She has become more loving to those around her, especially us (her parents). She hasn't been so dark and moody like she was when she was in Washington as well.  She has been working on being more girly and taking pride in who she is.  It has been fun spending time with her doing things that are different to her (although she hasn't quite gotten the shopping bug, she is the worst to shop with, she doesn't like anything!).  I could never figure out why she was so different than Breanne and Adam, but over time she has began to come out of her shell :)  I look forward to everyday that I am able to spend with her. 

So for parenting...honestly at this point, it is the hardest thing I have had to deal with since having children.  All those years ago if someone would have told me how hard being a parent is to adults...I would have wanted them to "Stay in the stroller" so much longer!  I would give anything to have them all little again because its sooo...hard!  I always looked forward to them getting older because I wouldn't have to worry about them so much....YEAH RIGHT!!! I WORRY MORE ABOUT THEM NOW THAN I EVER DID WHEN THEY WERE LITTLE!!!

So what am I to do?  At this point I have no clue!  I suppose I just go along with the roller coaster ride and do my best to still be the best possible mom I can be.  As well as be their friend.  But I will always be their mom no matter what!  I love them more than anything in life and I only want for them what I didn't have in life...

Labor Day Universal Studios Vacation

For Labor Day this year we decided to take a trip to California to do something that we haven't done in a long time.  So we decided a trip to Universal Studios would be something different.  I hadn't been there in over 20 years.  I know Josh had never been there, and for my mom, Nicole and Robbie it had been a few years. 

We left Friday evening after Josh got home from work.  He drove us there and we stayed at a Marriott. (Remember I love Marriott's)  Our room was nice, it was a small suite with two rooms adjoined.  Our room had a nice desk area where Josh and I were able to sit and do our homework comfortably.  It also had a workout facility were I was able to go to so I could work on my marathon training without missing a day. 

Saturday morning we got up and headed out to Universal Studios. 

Josh, Me, Nicole, Mom & Rob outside Universal Studios

 We went to almost all the attractions and shows on Saturday while we were there.  We decided that we were going to take our time and not rush to get everything finished.  But the thing about Universal, it is much smaller than Disneyland and they don't have as many rides, so we were able to see most of it in one day.  Universal actually specializes in television and movie productions.  So we were able to see "movie magic" and how they are made to look so real.


Fast & Furious cars...and pose!

Choke Chuckie!!!

Josh & Nicole posing with Jaws...dun-dun, DUN-DUN!!!

Lets go for a ride guys!

Sunday started out with a stop to Randy's Donuts...YUM, YUM, YUM!  We stood in line to get a dozen donuts for about 30 minutes.  This place is world famous, so we had to stop and see why it was so famous.  I have to say, whenever I go back to the area I will most definitely make Randy's Donuts a stop on our trip.  The prices were so cheap to...Well worth the wait. 

WORLD FAMOUS...

 We continued our Sunday back at Universal for the remaining attractions we didn't see...All 3 of them.  They were well worth the wait.  When we finished with those, we went to Bubba Gump for lunch.  It was nice to sit down and relax and have a nice meal.  While we were there, Josh decided to jump up and sing happy birthday with the waiters to some guy whose birthday it was.  Typical Josh, so unpredictable.  It seemed like he had a good time one this trip. 

When lunch was over we went back to the hotel.  Everyone fell asleep for several hours.  I sat and watch a movie all by myself.  I didn't think anyone was going to wake up.   Finally everyone woke up around 8:00.  We decided to go check out the Hollywood Walk of Fame.  It was rather interesting.  I have been there before, but it wasn't what I remembered.  I liked seeing all the different stars on the sidewalk and recognizing different names, but the area sure doesn't look anything like it looks when you see something happening on tv.  But that was okay with us.  We decided that it was something we can say we have seen in our life.  We also accidentally found the Los Angeles temple.  It was huge!  I only wish we could have seen it during the day.

Los Angeles temple..

Monday we took our time leaving the hotel.  We had homework to get finished!  When we left we decided to go to the beach.  We went to Venice Beach.  I don't know if that was a good idea or not because it seemed like we did more walking to get to the beach than we spent at the beach.  I wanted to see more of the crazy sites at Venice Beach, but it wasn't in our time schedule.  Josh and Nicole wanted to go into the ocean, so some plans were eliminate, which is fine with me.  They had fun out in the water.  The waves were rather large because there had been huge storms out in the Pacific.  While they were out in the water I noticed a turtle walking in the sand.  What was unusual was the turtle was with a family and it was a desert turtle!  The turtle came right up to me and was right under my feet.  The people said that they have had the turtle for about a year and they bring it to the beach every time they come.  WEIRD!!!

Desert turtle at my feet!  See here's the proof!

Josh & Nicole at Venice Beach

Our day ended with a long ride back to Las Vegas.  Again with Josh driving.  I was getting antsy and couldn't wait to get back home. I even asked a couple times "Are we there yet"? I'm not one for complaining on trips, but I was tired of being in the car.

I have to say I did miss Breanne and Adam on this trip.  Breanne went to my dads to spend the weekend sailing.  Adam had just started a job and wasn't able to get time off just yet.  I have come to the realization that my family isn't young anymore and some family adventures will not be attended by everyone.  It makes me sad because those adventures are opportunities for memories to be built.  I will just have to learn to make the best of all the time we are able to be together now....



Accountability

 The past couple weeks I have been watching Adam go through a huge learning experience.  I don't want to say that I am happy to see him going through the experience, but I do honestly have to say that life experiences are beginning to come full circle.  Choices made several months ago are beginning to come back and regret is now beginning.  While going through the issues Josh and I would tell him of the consequences that will happen if he continues making the choices he was making.  Well now he is learning that those choices he made DO in fact affect his future.  He has been trying to get a job and has had to face some of his demons, of which he never thought he would have to do.  The two of us have been able to talk about what has been happening.  I finally told him, "Adam, I know for a fact that we (meaning people in general) will always be accountable for the choices that me make.  While we are in the action of making choices, we always have to be aware of the choice, because the consequence may not be immediate, may be in the near or far future, but there will always be a consequence."  I think he has been thinking his actions more and now regrets his choices, but I can't say for sure.  I then finally told him, "Take it to you knees."  If it is meant to be it will.  He doesn't like talking too much about the gospel, but I know it would help him tremendously to have a better understanding.  In time I suppose...

A bit of this & that...

Obviously its been a couple weeks since my last blog.  I have been overwhelmed with school.  Being in this statistics class at times has me thinking..."What in the world was I thinking?"  I am so lost.  Each week I struggle to do my assignments, but I always pull through and complete them.  Thank goodness for Josh, he has helped me tremendously!  I am now in my 3rd week of my second 5 weeks.  I am gladly counting down the weeks.  However, each day has me sitting and struggling to figure out how to do the work.  So I must remember...this too shall pass!

We learned that Adam will graduate from High School.  He passed his testing requirements finally.  We are now just waiting for all his work from his class he's been taking to get recorded.  Once the last three classes are recorded with the school, they will mail his diploma to us.  This is a very good news.  Now we just have to figure out what he wants to do with the rest of his life.  Some days I have a hard time getting him motivated to do anything.  I have been trying to get him involved with me to exercise.  I happened to get him to run with me for about 2 miles yesterday.  Then today he was teaching me how to do some ab exercises.  I had him laughing because I am so horrible at doing exercises.

Speaking of exercise...I am now in training to do a half marathon.  I really want to do the Las Vegas half marathon in December.  I have been running again every other day.  During the week I will run 3-5 miles on my running days.  For the past couple weeks I have gradually been increasing the distance.  By Friday or Saturday I will be at about 5.5 miles for that day.  See during the week I gradually go further and further, then by the end of the week I can add on additional distance.  Some days I run better than others.  Yesterday... was horrible!  My knee started hurting and my calves were cramping up as well.  So instead of doing a full run I walked quickly.  So I did a combination of run/walk.  At least it was something.  Last Friday when I ran I did a little over 5 miles.  I was doing really good until I stopped...I just about passed out!  I was having a hard time catching my breath and was feeling very light headed...NOT A GOOD THING!  Josh kept pushing me to walk, but I couldn't, I could hardly breathe to walk to the house.  It took a good 20 minutes for me to finally breathe right.  However, I am determined not to stop!  I will meet my goal once again, even if I have to do it alone!

I also have another goal I try to accomplish everyday that helps me to stay motivated.  My goal is to reach at least 10,000 steps a day.  I have been trying to get a little more each day because I want to see that I can make 300,000 steps in at least a month.  So days when I am able to go over 10,000 steps I get excited.  But it sure is hard to get that many steps in without concentrating on it.  I wear my ipod that has a pedometer in it.  I panic when it doesn't charge completely over night, because to me...EVERY STEP COUNTS!  So on the days when I run, I actually meet and exceed my 10,000 step goal.  On days when I don't run, I walk as much as I can.  Today I walked this morning around the neighborhood, but I still have a little over 3,000 steps to go for today.  I'm thinking that I may just go out and run once the sun starts to go down later.  I know it sounds kinda corny, but it helps me to focus on other areas besides school and the stresses in my day to day life.

So with all this being said...

Life and school are a struggle, so I have found a way to take my mind off the stress they cause me....RUN & WATCH MY DAILY STEPS :)  Hey something is better than nothing, right?