Memories....

This weekend turned into more than a quick trip to Northern Utah for a family get together, it became a trip to memory lane for Josh. We wanted to stop and see Josh's sister Tanja, but she wasn't home. Instead we drove around to see the house he lived in while he lived in Utah, the school he went to, and different places he worked at while growing up. It was interesting to listen to what he was saying and telling us about his teenage years. I have heard all the stories over and over again, but listening to them this time was different. While we drove to the different places, Josh talked about how he felt during that time of his life. He finally said, " I tried to block all this out of my mind because it was nothing but bad memories! I never wanted to remember how bad life was for me then." The kids and I sat and listened, then all of a sudden he said, "You know where the house was? Watch, when I turn here you'll see how far I had to ride my bike just to go to work." We had been on the car about 30 minutes when he saw a bridge he had to go under everyday on him bicycle that all of a sudden hit him like a ton of bricks. He wasn't intending to see this place either, just just suddenly happened that we were there on that road at that moment. Josh was not the usual upbeat person he normally is when we were doing this, I can still here him asking himself "Why?" All I could say was, "Those experiences made you who you are today, you aren't a bad person and you can't help the choices your parents made when you were a kid. All you can do is be who you are and be true to yourself and our family." Josh and I haven't had it easy, but we have made it this far together despite all the craziness. We have made mistakes along the way, but one thing is for sure our kids haven't lived anything like what Josh experienced as a child. He always made a conscious effort to make sure our kids never had to go without or that their needs were not met. We may not have had tons of money, but they have had a good life! Our children have had good memories of family vacations, lake trips, cabin trips, road trips, shopping, soccer games, dogs, cats, houses, Disneyland, zoos, beaches and sailing adventures. So many good memories that far outweigh the bad. Memories is what make up a life and a person. I am thankful to have so many memories in my life. I have good and bad ones, but like I said experiences make us who we are as a person. It's our choice to learn from the bad experiences, like Josh did and make an effort to change so better memories will replace the bad ones.