Strength...

Last night before I went to bed, I decided to look at Facebook really quick. As I was reading through posts and comments I came acros a long time friends post. What she wrote broke my heart. Her husband passed away a couple years ago and she just seems to be doing all she can just to keep going forward without him. I don't know  what it's like to have a spouse that has died, butt I do know what its like to live without one for an extended period of time. As many of my family and friends know Josh wasn't around or involved with our family for seven years. (Maybe one day I will blog about it, but some already know why and I'm not quite ready to go back there just yet :))

 Those seven years I spent many days and nights asking the common why, how and what questions. I asked these questions because I didn't think I had the strength to live life without him. On a regular basis I cried because I felt weak. I felt I couldn't live my life and be a strong single parent who could raise my children alone. I wasn't sure what I was going to do...

 Looking back now I don't know how I made it from one day to the next. I suppose it was the silent strength I held within myself. Granted I am very stubborn, but knowing I had to continue on was all I could do just to keep going. I learned that I had strength even when I didn't think I did. I learned to smile even when I felt like a combustion chamber that was ready to burst. I learned to have strength when I knew people were judging me because of my situation. I knew people were talking, but my silent strength kept me going. I needed strength for my children because they needed to be strong as well. I also used all my strength in me to know that every step, every hour and every day was another day closer to an end... 

 It was this strength that gave me courage to say silent prayers to help me to get through this moment...

Life is far from easy, but I know for a fact that everyone has a silent strength to keep pushing them forward, even when life is hard. I wish for my friend to find this strength...  There is so much to really look forward to in life, heck the past is what creates who we are now and in the future.  Our past and present is our legacy.  My legacy will teach the future that my trials and challenges helped me to become who I am today.(Hopefully it will teach something as well)  Everyone needs to endure in life and find the strength to keep moving forward even when life is hard and we're ready to give up...

Endure to the end!!!