Some days I feel like life gets the best of me. Today happens to be one of those days! I feel like I'm in a haze of confusion and extreme sadness....

I know life will never be perfect, but I just wish at times it were just a little easier.  For years I have really struggled to accept many of the challenges I have gone through. I can honestly say I need a break from the trials. When it seems that there's a light at the end of the tunnel, I find I am once again falling further back down. I have always been accepting of my challenges, but having a little peace for a change would help.

Josh started a new job again this week. It's only Tuesday and he already hates it. He's still in North Dakota managing a shop that is relatively small. He was asked to help build the company if the many ventures the company is involved in. Problem is, Josh doesn't like working where there is any contention. The head boss guy has a tempter, which Josh compared to his dads.  Josh doesn't handle that well....so he wants to leave. I talked to him able all jobs will have drama and contention no matter where you go, it's just human nature. Is it right to throw a fur in the workplace? No! But some people are just that way, there's no escaping it. I reminded him of the people he worked for in the past...same thing! People at times just act up and we as individuals have no control of those people. I told him maybe they were just having a bad day. People tend to have them, especially when they get burned out with work. Josh doesn't realize he acts up too when he's burned out. I have to remind him I'm his wife....not work! That's when I know it's time for him to come home for a break!  He still wants to go to law school, but it scares me because I feel like we will be back to square one and will never move forward in life. I just feel like we've been stuck will never be what I consider successful in life. 

On another note....I found out I have some medical issues that need to be dealt with. It had been many, many years since I have gone to any type of doctor. Josh finally convinced me that I should go because it had been so long. I went last week finally! I had to do all the normal tests that hadn't been done in so long. Then for some reason the doctor decided to do an ultrasound of my uterus...not good! He told me that it's extremely thick which isn't good. It could be one of two things...nothing or cancer! I am now scheduled for a biopsy. I'm doing my best to stay positive, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little freaked! I'm wanting to get the biopsy over with so I can do whatever treatment needs to be done so I can move onto the next step to get me healthy. 

With that being said...I am healthy! I eat right, excersize and live a normal life. Just some stuff was a little neglected over the years because we couldn't afford to go to the doctors and didn't have insurance, and still don't! So yes this little hiccup in life is another stress in life that bothers me at the moment. 

I do my best to stay strong and positive because I know for a fact I'm meant to endure...