Adam

The school year is coming to an end for my kids. Well for one anyway. Adams high school career SHOULD be coming to a close, however for whatever reason unbeknownst to me, he won't be graduating. His dad and I have done just about everything possible to make him understand the importance of having a degree from high school. He doesn't seem to think having a dipolma will make a difference in his life. At the beginning of the school year, I told him I would stay in Las Vegas if he would put in the extra work to graduate. I even paid for him to take additional classes that he needed for graduation, but he didn't take them seriously. He was practically forced to do the work and complete the tests. He only passed the testing because he was able to do retakes of the test. In November, Adam went through a drastic change, in every aspect of his life. In that month, he changed from the person I knew of his entire life... Adam became very selfish and uncaring for anyone and anything that truly cared about him...

After much heartache, tears, prayer and talks with Josh about Adam, we decided it would be in Adam's best interest to get him out of his environment and away from Las Vegas. Josh flew down to Las Vegas on super short notice. Adam didn't know Josh had even come, because he was so out of commission mentally. The next morning was a day I would rather not live ever again in my life, but seeing as how some things have not changed, it may happen again...only if it does happen again, it won't end as simple as it did before.

So with the end of the school year and graduation in sight, Adam has been asked many times what his plans are for the future. He never gives us an answer. He has made the conscious effort to not speak to either Josh or I about possibilities of what would be best for him. The only thing in his sights is going back to Las Vegas.

Going back to Las Vegas, at his age...only means trouble. He does not have his high school diploma, the economy is rock bottom there, he doesn't have a drivers license, or even an official state id. I have seen the he plans to go to Las Vegas and party it up with some friends that I don't know, have sex and get a couple tattoos...This is not something I ever planned or wanted for my son.

A little while ago, I asked Adam what he plans to tell his dad about his future. He told me the above, minus the party, sex and tattoos (that part I found out on my own). I got a little upset with him and said, "I don't think that going to Las Vegas would be the best idea Adam!" He said he wants to go because everyone else has been able to leave here and come back. I don't think his intentions are true of what he says to us...Just to go and come back! He said he wants a round trip ticket. I don't think if a round trip ticket were bought, he would be on the second half of that round trip. I have been through enough crap with him to know when I am being lied to.

What he really needs to do is....finish school, spend the summer focusing on all his school work, study to pass the exams he needs so he can finally earn his diploma. Get his drivers license so he can work a job. He has a job offer, but keeps blowing the person off. Adam has been told many times, that the job won't always be there...but live and learn I suppose. He also should focus on making things right with himself. I know Adam has done some things that he doesn't like himself over, only he can make these wrongs right. If he were to take the next few months to figure these things out, many possibilities could be opened for him.

But what can I do? I'm to the point that any words are just worthless. It makes me sad, because Adam does have so much potential, but unfortunately he's just doing what he wants with no practical thinking of what really is best. I've told him for many years that he needs to set goals for himself, but he seems to think that he can just do whatever and things will happen for him. He doesn't understand that life just doesn't happen that way.

I'm not 100% sure what his intensions are for going to Las Vegas either. Almost everyone there who he hung around is leaving and going off to live their lives of what they have planned. Adam can't just show up on their doorstep and say here I am! Breanne isn't going to be around, she works and has plans this summer. My mom works and has plans as well. And I REFUSE to allow Adam to go there and bum off of them, especially after how crappy he is to everyone. I've spoke to our other friends as well, they are just as concerned about him as we are.

I don't know what will happen, I suppose all I can do is pray...