What am I doing?

I find myself asking "What am I doing", on a regular basis now.  So why am I asking this of myself?  Well to be perfectly honest...I'm asking this because I am currently in a statistics class at school...Enough said!  For the past 4 weeks I have literally fried my brain working crazy mathematical formulas and figuring out specifically what a problem is.  I can honestly say, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WILL EVER USE ALL THAT STUFF FOR!!!  But try as I must, I must continue to move forward with it, seeing as how I still have 6 more weeks ahead of me.  I'm not one to give up.  I will keep pushing forward everyday and do what I can.  If I work a little at a time I seem to do good.  I have found that if I get frustrated, I need to take a break for a little while then come back to it again.  It seems to work for me :)

I can also answer "What am I doing" in another way.  I have asked the question so many times over the years.  Honestly at times I feel so confused, but for some reason things eventually work out.  I do know who I am and what I am here for.  I strive everyday to be a good person.  I have noticed that I am doing much better mentally since we have been back in Las Vegas.  I no longer feel depressed and helpless.  All I can figure out is the location had a lot to do with how I felt on an everyday basis.  Having no sun, limited social ability and cold weather everyday was not ideal circumstances for me.  My family has also noticed a huge change in me as well, which is good.

With the change in location I now feel like I can do anything.  I'm not cooped up in a basement with nothing to do.  I am able to actually do stuff around the house without being judged or told that I am doing something wrong.  I can cook (and actually enjoy it) without worrying about someone getting sick or changing what I have done.  My kids are able to do things and go places without being cooped up in one location because getting anywhere was too far away.  All of us are starting to exercise regularly as well.  Adam is now training to do a triathlon and Breanne, Josh and I now training to do the Las Vegas marathon in December.  So coming back has been good for us so far.

I don't know if I mentioned or not in my last post, Josh started a job last week as well.  I think he is enjoying it.  He actually gets to go to a job that he doesn't get dirty and disgusting at.  In fact Breanne even said this morning, "I'm not use to Dad wearing regular clothes to work, I'm use to him wearing grubby work clothes and boots!"  I totally agreed with her!  It is nice not having to wash his disgusting oily clothes every other day.  He actually wears normal clothes!!!  We are anxious to see his  first paycheck as well.  He commented yesterday, "I finally feel like I'm being compensated for what I'm worth".  So we shall see.  I like the fact that he comes home everyday for lunch.  Yesterday we went on a little lunch date (We did that regularly when we were in Washington because I needed at least one normal meal that had some taste to it.)  I  enjoy the time we spend alone together during the short time that we have.

So....I suppose this answers the question of "What am I doing".  Basically I am now living life, struggling through my statistics class, being a wife, mom and daughter.  At this point I can say I haven't been this happy in a very long time.  Some days we do struggle with certain things that come along, but overall, I am happy with where we are at this point in time.